Relational Quarantine
Breaking Down Dividing Walls
We had such a wonderful family vacation planned.
The first two days were just what we imagined—beautiful, sun-soaked days on the beach, a light breeze, laughter together over delicious meals.
Then the shoe dropped.
Our almost two-year-old grandson came down with Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease—highly contagious and particularly dangerous for our two-month-old granddaughter. We were forced into a self-imposed quarantine.
Couples distanced themselves from one another.
Grandchildren were kept at arm’s length.
It felt so unnatural.
We were on vacation together, yet with each passing day the disconnection of quarantine felt more wrong. Family is meant to be together.
From the Beginning, We Were Made for Togetherness
My thoughts went all the way back to the beginning of time—to the Garden of Eden.
In that perfect place, God declared:
“It is not good for the man to be alone.”
— Genesis 2:18
Even before sin entered the world, isolation was named as not good.
The Trinity itself—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—reveals a God who exists eternally in relationship. Perfect unity stands in stark contrast to quarantine and separation.
In C.S. Lewis’s powerful allegory The Great Divorce, hell is described as a place where people keep moving farther and farther away from one another, until neighbors live millions of miles apart—the ultimate quarantine.
That image has always stayed with me.
Voluntary Quarantines of the Heart
What saddens me most is how often we willingly choose relational quarantine.
Friends and family members who once declared love for one another now live in indefinite separation:
Mothers isolated from daughters
Brothers and sisters who no longer speak
Christian friends estranged over a minor slight, a political difference, or a complex moral disagreement
Meanwhile, God weeps—and the enemy cheers.
The Bible’s Relentless Call to Reconciliation
The entire story of Scripture is an all-out heavenly assault on division—between God and humanity, and between people themselves.
The Bible repeatedly declares:
“God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ.” — 2 Corinthians 5:19
“He himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the dividing wall of hostility.” — Ephesians 2:14
“Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, having the same love.” — Philippians 2:2
“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” — John 13:35
Yet despite these truths, the divides seem to grow larger—more animated, even violent.
As Far As It Depends on You
We pray, “Thy kingdom come,” knowing that on this earth we will continue to struggle, disagree, and sometimes disconnect.
The Apostle Paul acknowledges that this hard reality is inevitable to a degree when he writes:
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
— Romans 12:18
This verse sets both a high bar and a kind of spiritual litmus test.
It gently but firmly asks:
Have I done everything possible to pursue reconciliation?
The Hard, Holy Work of Reconciliation
Reconciliation in our closest relationships is hard work.
It requires risky conversations, humility, and patience. Years—sometimes decades—of baggage can accumulate, leaving us living in quarantined relationships.
I know how easily well-intentioned efforts to mend things can go sideways.
Still, God’s heart is always aimed toward restoration. He longs to break down walls and lift the quarantine.
Even the smallest step toward connection is worth the effort.
You may be tired of trying.
You may be wounded by cruel words or antagonistic actions.
Yet perhaps this time will be different.
The God Who Goes Before Us
God is the Master of reconciliation.
We are never alone in the work of healing deep wounds. He goes before us, preparing the way.
There are no guarantees. At times, well-meaning attempts are rebuffed and we sink back into quarantine. Sometimes reconciliation takes years. Sometimes we are called to wait and let God do the work in His time.
Jacob waited many years before reconciling with Esau (see Genesis 33).
And yet—sometimes now is the moment.
With all of this in mind, recognizing both the complexity and the tenderness required, our wisest path remains Paul’s urging:
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, be at peace with everyone.”