When I was younger, I thought that the only thing to do when hard days came was get through them. Sure, I hoped to get through them in a positive way, but really, the goal was simply to get on the other side of the hard.
I now see that there is so much more to hard days: the difficult things that we go through serve purposes far beyond our limited sight. I now see that hard days might be the most blessed days that we experience, because in the hard we are changed. We are formed. We are even transformed.
This is not to imply in the slightest that hard is not hard. Suffering is miserable. Yet when seen in the rear-view mirror we come to realize that in the hard days growth happens. I now look back on the hard times and even though I wish from the depths of my being that many of those painful experiences would not have happened, I now see that I am a new person because of them.
Hard days do three things that are core to becoming the people we were meant to become:
1. Hard times make us strong. When we have gone through the valleys of life, the less difficult times seem so much more manageable. The muscles of character, the muscles of perseverance are strengthened to be able to bear up in future struggles still to come. When we are in the midst of the storms, we cannot see the strengthening happening in our interior, but unseen resilience is being formed.
2. Hard days make us human. I realize that the simple reality of living through painful, excruciating things creates a commonality in me with all those around who are also in their own personal valleys. There is a "fellowship of suffering." We have lost a child to cancer and a brother to suicide. Those horrible experiences create families to whom we belong who have gone through similar tragedies. Beyond the common places, those hard times grow compassion. Apart from the suffering, we are prone to harden ourselves because it is painful to suffer with others. Yet, when my heart breaks for another, when my heart softens, I become more human. I even become more like God who suffers with us.
3. Hard days make us long for more. This time on earth is not the destiny God designed for us. Jesus is preparing a new Garden of Eden for us where there is no more suffering, no more tears, no more pain, and no more death. Our worst days naturally grow our desire for the redeemed eternity God promises. I must admit, I am in no hurry to get there, but the hardest experiences remind me that God does more than just be with us in our suffering — He is redeeming our pain.
What does this mean for those of us mired in endless struggle, endless grief, endless depression? It calls for us to strain for the glimmer of hope, the tiniest beam of light in the darkness. It encourages us to trust that God brings good that we cannot imagine or see out of our pain. Hang on. Even when you do not feel it, trust in the goodness of God. "Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning." (Psalm 30:5)
Thanks Tommy, beautiful message. My daughter got through a tough season a few years ago with the help of the song “Joy in the Morning” by Tauren Wells and Elevation Worship, based on Psalm 30:5. One of my favorite songs because of the transformation I see in my daughter now. Bless you!
Thanks Tommy. Have you heard of parental alienation? It seems to be happening more often these days & is when adult children stop communicating with their parents. Two of my three children have practiced this since 2012. Today’s message is encouraging & gives me hope.